Not Wounded

Oh, how sweet it is to hear a word from the Lord.
This morning I woke up to a quiet house, made a cup of hot tea, and grabbed my little girl's Bible.  I plopped down on the couch and closed my eyes.  "Lord, show me something.  Speak to me this morning.  I need to hear from you."  I opened the Bible and it opened to the book of Daniel, chapter 6.  (Daniel in the Lion's Den)  I thought this was funny because last week was vacation bible school at church and they studied this exact passage.  I was supposed to teach the 3rd and 4th graders, but was unable due to the loss of our baby and surgery.  So I smiled and thought, "He had something for me too last week and He didn't want me to miss it."  Let me back up a little.  Last night as we were driving I was telling my husband that I don't want to be sad forever.  Losing a baby can be devastating.  Life changing.  Depressing.  Scary.  So many bad things.  It can change who you are and wound your soul.  I don't want that.  I want my JOY.  So this morning I began reading.  Daniel was thrown into the Lion's Den for praying to God.  He had done nothing wrong, yet he was in this place of great danger.  Danger of being wounded.  Danger of losing his life.  When the king threw Daniel into the Lion's den, he yelled out to him, "May your God, whom you serve continually, rescue you!"  Well most of you know, the Lord did indeed rescue Daniel.  He shut the mouths of the lions, sent an angel to minister to him, and kept him completely free from harm.  Here's the verse that brought tears streaming down my face.  Verse 23:  "The king was overjoyed and gave orders to lift Daniel out of the den.  And when Daniel was lifted from the den, no wound was found on him, because he trusted God."  Shouldn't it have said "and when Daniel was lifted from the den, no wound was found on him, because God had shut the mouths of the lions"???  Daniel was not wounded BECAUSE HE TRUSTED GOD.  Did you read my last blog post?  HA! How sweet to know He hears me, not only when I'm praying, but when I'm talking to Rich.  I will not be forever wounded, because I trust Him.  I trust in Him to take away my sins AND my wounds.  By His wounds I am healed.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JElzkHX5smE

I pray that someone who is reading this with deep wounds, can trust God enough to ask Him to heal your wounds.

Trust.

I trust my husband. He has proven himself faithful. How? By loving me and protecting me, unconditionally. Even at his own expense. Every decision he makes is thought through to the best of his ability to see what is best for ME and for our family. He is not perfect, but he IS trustworthy.
I trust my Dad. From the time I was a little bitty baby (ok 10 pounds 4 ounces isn’t so little…) he has taken care of me. He put our needs before his own to make sure we were fed, clothed and cared for. He has loved and protected me. He looks out for me and thinks of me, and when he can help me, he does it. He has my best interest at heart. I know that, because I know his character and I know his heart.
My baby died. I cry just typing that. I really can’t believe that it’s a true statement yet. I wish I could backspace it right off this page. I hate that I never got to hold him or tell him I loved him. I struggle with the fact that the whole world is going on and on like nothing happened, when MY BABY DIED. But you know what comforts me? It’s not my husband, or my Dad, or even my Mom. It’s trust.
I trust God. That sounds so cliché. I trust my heavenly Father. He has proven Himself faithful. How? By loving and protecting me, unconditionally. Even at his own expense. Every decision he makes is thought through to see what is best for ME and for our family. He looks out for me and thinks of me, and when he can help me, he does it. He has my best interest at heart. I know that, because I know His character and I know his heart. Sounds familiar….He loves me in the same ways my husband does, but perfectly. He is my Groom too. I wear a beautiful ring on my right hand to remind me of my Groom’s love for me. Today it reminds me to trust His love for me. I’m walking through this life with only partial knowledge. I explained it to Cassidy this way: It’s like we are walking through an obstacle course blindfolded. We are given a guide who can see. Do I listen to my guide? Or do I go by what I feel? I feel sadness. But my Guide, who knows EVERYTHING, made a decision, and I now have the choice to trust Him, or to just feel SAD and question Him. What if my Protector knew that there was a blood clot waiting to take MY life in the next few months or during childbirth? I am His joy and His song. He adores me, and wants what is best for me. ALL His gifts are good and perfect. This baby boy is good and perfect. He is not in my arms, but he is in the arms of my first love. His eternity is settled. I trust that God made the best decision for me and for my family. I mourn the plans I had for this baby in this life, but I rejoice in the plans that God has for my baby and my family. He loves me, and my hope is in Him alone.
I’ve been blessed with a husband, a Daddy and a Father who love me so amazingly well. I will trust that although I am blind, He can see... and through my tears, I will lift my hands to the God who created my inmost being and loves me and protects me, even when it hurts. And oh how I pray that my songs of praise during this time bring Him all the glory He deserves.

Happy Heart Day (a little late!)

As I am preparing to talk to some teenagers about "storytelling through art" (specifically photography), the Lord brought to mind how He is the ultimate artist and Creator. Everywhere we look around us we can see His storytelling. This is the story He told me this morning.

If you had to pick one body part that you thought was most important,what would it be? Corinthians tells us that no one part is more important than the other, but that we need them all to function as a body. But, just for my blog's sake, can you choose?
OK, so I thought about it and I want to be a blood vessel. There are two main types of blood vessels. Arteries and veins. Arteries carry blood away from the heart and veins carry blood back to the heart. So I pondered this morning, which one do I want to be? On the one hand arteries are super important. They take the blood that is fresh from the lungs and full of oxygen to the cells that are waiting and desperate for oxygen. But on the other hand, the vein carries the blood that is emptied of oxygen back to the heart for a refill! If the blood never came back to the heart, it couldn't be filled or used anymore. I decided I just want to be a blood vessel. I want to be a vein and an artery.
As an embryo develops, the heart is visible before anything else. Everything else begins to form around the heart and is fed and nurtured by the heart and the blood that it pumps. We are formed around God. In the image of Him. He is literally the heart of our being. He is the one who fills us with what we need and pumps us out into this world to feed it to those who need it. Oh Lord, let me be a vessel. A blood vessel. Let me carry your Son's blood to those waiting and empty. And Lord, please let me always remember to go back to you, the Heart, when I am needing to be refilled. Fill me again and again so that I can deliver the life giving, soul saving blood to those who need it. Thank you for demonstrating your love to us through the masterpiece of our earthly bodies.

God demonstrated His love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8)

You are loved!

Natalie

Enamored

I'm feeling a bit enamored with my Creator this morning. I was driving home from school this morning listening to praise and worship music and thinking of the beautiful interpretive dances that the ladies at my church often perform. Their love for God and for their Savior, and their passion for Him is shown so clearly in those moments when the music is playing and their bodies are in complete worship to Him. It's something so beautiful, and so different from anything we did growing up. Then I started thinking of the beautiful words to Amazing Grace and some of the hymns that we sang as children. Oh how He loves those songs, those words. They are such a great representation of what we truly believe. Then there is Christan rap, and hard core Christian music. The words of which glorify the Lord, the style of music....well, I personally don't much care for. But thinking of how God has given us all our gifts, passions, love for music...I cannot help but think how awesome God truly is, that all of these gifts, anointings, styles of music and passions come from Him. He is the good in all of us combined. He is not narrow minded. No, His mind is all encompassing. All beauty, all knowledge, all power, all passion comes from Him. He is passionate about photography just like I am. He loves to capture the essence of His children. As His creation, we are able to create. How amazing it is to me that I am able to use just a tiny bit of GOD'S creativity. I can't wait for the day when I can absorb all of who He is, and understand the magnificence of Him in His full glory. I am truly in awe. My heart is dancing for You, my God this morning.

Pictures posted are of the very beautiful Natalie W. My sweet friend Jenny's daughter who exudes God's love, grace, and kindness in every word, and every precious smile. I love her, and I love her Mom. Some of these were taken in the front yard of an abandoned, foreclosed home. Looking at the home, you do not see beauty. You would see neglect, dirt, and a tremendous need for work. But the lens is very forgiving, and at the right angle you do not see any of those things. All you see is.......well, the beauty of Natalie. Jesus' blood is the same way. We are neglected, wretched sinners...there is truly no good in us apart from God and the forgiveness He provided through His son. I am so glad God sees me this way instead of seeing the mess I am without Him.

Spring/Summer Sessions

For the next few weeks I'm going to be taking a few sessions. $300 for a one hour session and all your images uploaded to Mpix for unlimited printing. $150 due at booking, the rest at your session. Email me if you're interested. natalieography@yahoo.com

Radiance and Photography

God used photography to reveal something to me this morning. In Psalm 19:8 it says "The precepts of the Lord are right, giving joy to the heart. The commands of the Lord are RADIANT, giving light to the eyes." In photography, we call the light in the eyes of our subjects "catchlights". These catchlights are what give the image life. The closer you are to the lightsource (window, doorway, studio light), the more light will be in your subjects eyes and the more soft and beautiful your lighting will be.

This verse tells us the same thing about our lives. The commands of the Lord are radiant, giving LIGHT to the eyes. Why do we have the Bible and all the teaching and commands? To give us light and LIFE more abundantly. Following God's laws does not make you good or perfect in God's eyes, because we are still all sinners and separated from God. Only believing that Jesus died for YOU and that He is your Savior will do that. God's grace is not something you have to earn, just something you have to truly believe. However, we have the choice in this life to live our own way, setting our Bibles aside and living on our own, or to seek Him and His way and receive the life giving Light. God's "catchlight". That Light is what makes us presentable to God and it is what makes our lives beautiful, just like the catchlight makes the image beautiful.

Here is a snapshot of my little cousin Ethan. He is in front of a huge window, close to the lightsource. The light in his eyes is what makes this image pleasing. The fact that he is close to the window is what makes the lighting soft and beautiful. If you look close into his eyes, you can see the photographer. My prayer is that when people look closeup into my eyes, that the Lightsource will shine brightly and they will see Jesus standing there waiting with forgiveness, mercy and grace.

Blackshear 2009

Ok, so I'm a pitiful excuse for a blogger. I promise to post more this year! Here are a few from the shoot I did with my kids and my neice Lauren at Thanksgiving. We had a lot of fun.....even though Landon didn't want to cooperate! My favorite image is the one where they are all flustered. LOL :)